Artist vs. Engineer

Hello good people!

Back with another instalment and this time I’m here to talk a bit more about myself - after all, who doesn’t want to hear that…right??

No?

Oh - well…too bad I guess.

Like many other creators of art, presumably, I often find myself in a state introspection - trying to figure out the mechanisms of my own mind and trying to assess what it is that makes me…well y’know - 'Me'.

That being said, there are certain things that often tend to puzzle me a little about my mental make-up.

It’s not to say that I would necessarily make an excellent subject for a prospective psychology research project (although arguably I quite possibly would) but there is one aspect that often comes to the fore in my self-analysis.

This being, the almost polar opposite nature between my day job and my artistic endeavours and the chasm between the states of mind and the skills I adopt to carry out each role.

Creating visual art has always been a big part of my life - pretty much as far back as I can remember.

Back in the late 2000’s/early 2010’s, during my time as a student at university, however, for one reason or another I sort of fell away from it.

Quite possibly this was something related to the copious amounts of midweek drinking, partying, sleeping in too late and being addicted to ‘Lost’ but I’m not 100% sure to be quite honest.

Anyway, after graduating and entering the big bad world to start my career in Civil Engineering, I found myself dealing with the daily stresses and strains associated with the high intensity nature of the construction industry.

Whilst I enjoyed the challenge of my job and was delighted to no longer be a broke student living on beans on toast, the stress and anxiety that the role kindly graced me with was something I soon learned I’d need to grow accustomed to - one way or another.

Ultimately, this resulted in me searching for ways to help dial down those feelings of existential crisis and dread.

Naturally, I found myself turning back to art.

So the interesting thing is…

In my role as an Engineer, I need to be analytical, technical, organised, linear, methodical and measured in my processes and thinking.

When I’m creating art, however, I find myself disappearing into more of an expansive stream of abstract thought - a bit more of a chaotic realm, a non-linear and imaginative flow like state - where anything is possible.

I guess one could argue that there may be a degree of crossover between the two pursuits in that there is an element of creativity associated with the role of an Engineer - requiring the ability to think outside the box find solutions to real world problems.

Saying that, there is also potentially aspects of my Engineering background that filter into my artwork.

However, for me, I just feel that these two modes reside within totally separate places in my mind - they are in completely different domains which require entirely alternative types of thought.

It’s a bit of a juxtaposition I guess - almost a Jekyll and Hyde type scenario, but I seem to be able to tap in to either inter-changeably.

Now, I use the word ‘inter-changeably’ quite specifically.

This is from the perspective that the interesting thing I discovered about myself, was that the part of my brain which is active during my day job - that fight-or-flight, high intensity, high stress, problem solving mode - it gets completely overridden when I’m creating art.

It’s effectively as though the two modes of operation are mutually exclusive and can’t function simultaneously.

It’s for this reason that I’ve always felt of the art creation realm as my place of refuge.

My escape.

I guess I was pretty lucky to re-discover my passion for creating art back in 2012.

To be perfectly honest, I’m pretty sure it’s this passion for creating art that keeps me sane in my day job.

I do sometimes wonder, hypothetically, that if I worked as an Artist full-time, possibly that equilibrium could be knocked off balance.

Maybe it’s the Yin to my Yang.

Perhaps I need the pressure of my Engineering role to influence my desire to create, as my antidote - to bring me back into alignment.

In any case - I’m hugely grateful that life turned me back towards it - that I discovered my passion and true means of escapism.

Well, I guess that’s enough thoughts for one evening.

So yeah, if any professional psychologist feels compelled to issue my diagnosis then feel free.

I’m always interested to understand what end of the insanity spectrum I reside on.

Much love.

WTVR x